New Moon

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New Moon

Postby Lupis on Sat Sep 12, 2009 3:45 am

I'm surprised this hasn't come up already...and I'm even more surprised that I'm the one bringing it up. I saw the first movie a while ago, and just kept hoping that all the werewolf innuendo would come to fruition, and Jacob would kick the stuffing out of Edward. As that didn't happen, my hopes were rather dashed.

Well, in any case, the sequel is coming out in a couple of months, and I was curious as to what peoples' thoughts were. Despite my deep-seated misgivings with Twilight (I just about gagged when I saw sparkly vampires accompanied by the line "This is the skin of a killer!), I'm actually somewhat looking forward to the sequel for a number of reasons.

First of all, Edward isn't in it. I've brought up with friends and coworkers that his romance with Bella was predicated entirely on superficial reasons, Bella thought he was hot, Edward couldn't read her mind, whatever. Second, Edward proves just how much of a callous, inhuman asshole he is by chucking Bella THROUGH a piano in an attempt to save her. I'm sorry, I wouldn't be having a tearful, depressing time after he told me that he had to break it off. Someone throws me through a piano, I never want to see that person again. Third, and probably most important of all, is that I'm hoping to see Jacob go all badass werewolf and just tear the crap out of some vampires. The trailer certainly hinted at it, and I have high hopes.

Anyway...oh, god, I just typed several paragraphs about Twilight, and I said I'm looking forward to it. I now must curl up in the bottom of a cold shower in the fetal position, bawling about how "I can never get clean" as I scrub myself raw.
Until shade is gone, until water is dust, into the shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath to spit in Sightblinder's eye on the last day.

-RIP Robert Jordan
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Re: New Moon

Postby Gorble on Sat Sep 12, 2009 5:57 am

I like a term a friend of a friend coined for the "Twilight" series of books and that is Original Fan Fiction. As in their opinion it read a lot like a fan fiction save for the fact the series is a stand alone.

I haven't read the books though I heard the like skin described as sparkling before I went to the movie not realizing when Edward was whining and going emo about the horror of his true form that it would be ... glitter skin.

Overall I'm not impressed with what I do know about the series and the only good things the series has produced for me are the lovely parodies and jokes about the series.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/487878 for example...
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Re: New Moon

Postby ShadowsMyst on Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:34 am

Ug, Twilight. UGGG! *flails to get the stench away*

I'd much rather look forward to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKn_RbCAAek
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Re: New Moon

Postby Secad on Thu Sep 24, 2009 1:36 pm

Eh...I hope you guys don't hate me for this, but I'm the sort of person who both loves and hates Twilight. I mean, the characters have HUGE flaws (hello, Bella is a necrophiliac, the basis of EdwardXBella is their inequality, etc.) and the story can get boring, but it is a rather entrancing read. I mean, Jacob is amazing. (AKA, I love lycanthropes)

I saw the movie on opening day, I must admit, but it was for a friend's birthday. Do I have a little bit of an excuse there? The acting was a little poor and the 'glitter' made me laugh, but the whole female hormones thing made me 'teenage squeal' when Kellan Lutz strolled onscreen, along with every other female in the audience. It was a packed theatre, I must add.

However, Breaking Dawn broke all love for that series. Before I read it, I was 'meh, it's an okay series.' This was the book that opened my eyes to all of the series' flaws. Now it's 'It's a horrid series, but for some reason I still read it.'

I'm going to see New Moon just for Jane and the rest of the Volturi. Those are closer to the modern vampires that I like. :) New Moon was the best book anyway, just because of Jacob, Jane, and laughing at Bella+Edward's moaning about losing each other.
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Re: New Moon

Postby Gorble on Tue May 25, 2010 10:31 pm

If I want something that makes vampires gay I'm not going to half-ass it with Twilight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fhrRfTFeug
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Re: New Moon

Postby Talexis on Tue May 25, 2010 11:16 pm

Totally horrified my homophobic side right there Gorble, I do agree with your statement of truth there, heh >_>
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Re: New Moon

Postby LittleLost on Fri Mar 11, 2011 6:51 pm

There a few things you need to know about me and twilight.
1: Part of me wants to buy the whole series. Just so I can destroy each book in a unique and equally horrifying fashion.
2: I continue to maintain that Edward can be replaced by a cardboard cutout.
3: Bella can be replaced with a brick.
4: No real author writes an entire book leading up to an epic battle that doesn't happen.
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Re: New Moon

Postby Gorble on Fri Mar 11, 2011 10:42 pm

1. Buying it only encourages sales... for the past two years at my old job I can't recall a single time that a shipment of books didn't include a metric ton of that series. I can only imagine the next movie that comes out will include another huge endcap devoted to all those books again.

2. Edward- Stay away from me I'm dangerous... cause um... vampire grrr.

3. Truly wasn't Bella the main villain of the series? Manipulating everyone and putting people through hell. Until she fulfilled her ultimate goal of complete control and super powers?

4. I wish that were so, but sadly it isn't. There are also books out there with no real characters or plots. Only vague hints that the writer might have meant there to be either. Then again I suppose that means they aren't a 'real' author or at least not a good one.

God I still remember not believing someone's statement that the vamps in this book series sparkle only to see Edward reveal his 'hideous true form' and see vampire glitter skin. It's horrifying in a way that the pedophilic Edward brick doesn't understand.
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Re: New Moon

Postby Suicidal Lady on Fri Mar 11, 2011 11:23 pm

This will be a long rant.

What was painful about the ENTIRE series, and yes I have read the books just to shut up my sister, was that the writing was not very good, high school level at best, and that the entire story line was circular. Seriously, it took HOW many novels for Bella to finally get bit? I just don't get how people keep on saying it is the next big series. I mean, the characters were shallow and had no depth. The first three novels were all about Bella whining about wanting to be a vamp and Edward saying no. That's IT. All we really know about Bella at the end of the whole thing is that she is an emo suicidal shallow Mary Sue who everyone likes for no reason when they should be slapping her for her stupidity. And then in the 4th book everything gets all pedo and weird.

And one major problem I had was how on EARTH did Bella get knocked up when the sparkly fairy with pointy teeth doesn't have any blood? *I am not going to elaborate, but I think most of you who know how the body works will understand*

If I want to read a better vampire book, I can walk into any library, go pick up some random romance novel that has the word Dead, Teeth, or some inane play on words matched with vampire in the title and reeks of cigarettes, and I will have an better time reading it. Take twenty of those plus a few from the teen section, through them into a blender and start picking out the pieces, and that is how you get Twilight. I worked in a library for years, and have seen everything imaginable that has to do with vampires. My advice, before picking up a poorly written vampire book, read a classic like Anne Rice. THAT is good vampire fiction.

And the whole making them sparkly and invincible is just undermining the whole allure of vampires. They are no longer threatened by ANYTHING since last time I checked glitter doesn't kill. So the only thing left is "Oh no! I drink blood! I can't just go and use the mass of money I have acquired over the years and PAY some blood bank for some juice. No, I have to take it out on the poor animals of the forest." Which isn't really a huge drawback. Now you just have supposedly sexy dead guys creeping on stupid hormonal teens. Woot. Where is the pain, suffering, and struggling with their humanity of the monsters they have become? What kind of monster GLITTERS?! Slap a dress and some makeup on and they will outsparkle drag queens who were handed dresses and a lifetime supply of sequins and told to have at it. No one is scared of drag queens unless they have someone personal issues they haven't yet worked out with themselves.

Also, a little tidbit I learned from a Horror comic writer whose talk I sat in on, the entire series is based of fundamentalist Mormon ideals of how men and women should interact. *If anyone in the audience is Mormon, I mean no offense at all, it's not your fault that your ideals were twisted into the horror that is Twilight*

I am no advocate of destroying books, but my heart goes out to all the poor trees that had to be cut down and made into THAT only to be drooled on by lovesick teens who have a damsel in distress fetish crossed with necrophilia.
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Re: New Moon

Postby Lupis on Sat Mar 12, 2011 5:21 am

Two points:

#1: if you're going to point people to a vampire novel, go whole hog. Bram Stoker all the way!

#2: ...I just realized that the vampire "dad" is a doctor. WTF. Why the hell isn't he claiming that his family is anemic and getting them pints of blood? Seems that would be easy as hell.
Until shade is gone, until water is dust, into the shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath to spit in Sightblinder's eye on the last day.

-RIP Robert Jordan
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